Not Alone
by Astra H. Lowelle
Summary: Jay still has nightmares sometimes.


Jay still has nightmares.

Serpentine, djinns, skeletons, trash compactors, the Preeminent.

Things that happened, things that didn't happen. Things that might have happened. Things that could still happen.

Near misses. Non-misses. Everything in between.

Screaming. Crying. Calling _Jay, Jay, Jay-_

Trapped. Can't move. Can't save them. Can't save her-

Jay sits bolt upright. Someone is crying.

_Jay, _someone murmurs. Sleepily.

Jay claws his way out of bed, throws open the door. Flies into the next room. Reaches out with numb hands to take his baby daughter.

She quiets; her cries dying to snuffles, whimpers, silence. Jay holds her tightly, nestling her fuzzy little head on his chest, under his chin.

He stands there for a moment, holding her tightly, until he remembers and walks slowly back to the bedroom.

Nya is waiting, blearily rubbing sleep from her eyes. She smiles when she sees Jay, holding out her hands for the baby._ Someone got hungry, huh? _

Jay tries to smile back. He doesn't want to let go of the soft little body of living, breathing warmth.

But Mya is hungry, so he leans over to let Nya take her. He stands, at the foot of the bed, arms hanging empty.

_Jay?_

Nya looks up at him. Mya is cuddled in her arms, contented and quiet. _Are you okay?_

Jay lets out a long sigh and sits down on the bed next to her. _I don't know._

_Those dreams again?_

He doesn't look at her. _Just- just another stupid nightmare. Nothing to worry about._

_Yes, it is, Jay. _

He puts an arm around her._ Don't worry about me._

_Do you want to talk about it?_

Jay looks down at his knees. _I- I don't remember everything._

Nya looks at him. Sighs. _Jay... Do you want to talk to Sensei Wu?_

_No. I don't want anyone to know._

_Why not?_

_Because it's stupid._

_It is not stupid, Jay! Stop saying that!_

He leans in to kiss her lightly on the cheek, to smell her cherry-scented hair, to reassure himself that she is there.

Mya gurgles happily. Nya smiles and kisses her head.

Jay feels better, and smiles too. _Okay. I'll talk to him tomorrow._

_Thank you, Jay._

She hesitates. _Maybe… maybe you could talk to the guys, see if any of them also-_

_-have these dreams? Dreams of past missions? Of failing every single one of them? Of messing up everything? Why would they?_

His voice is rising. Mya startles, whimpers. Nya cuddles her tightly, shhhing.

_See?_ Jay says. His voice cracks.

Nya shifts Mya into the crook of one arm and takes his hand.

_Jay._

Jay looks at her.

_You never messed anything up. We're all alive, aren't we? Ninjago is safe and sound. We have Mya._

Jay nods.

_And I bet you aren't the only one who has these dreams._

_Nya, I don't want to-_

_You don't have to ask the guys. Just talk to Wu._

She nestles Mya into his arms. _I'll make you some tea._

Jay smiles sheepishly. _You don't have to-_

_Well, you're holding Mya. My hands are free. Don't wake her up, okay?_

She grins at him, pulls on a robe, and pads quietly out of the room. Jay peers down at the little sleeping bundle in his arms.

_Jay?_

Jay almost jumps, but tightens his hold on his daughter.

_Here's your tea. _

She waits for him to shuffle Mya to free an arm before handing him the warm cup. _Drink it all, okay?_

He smiles ruefully._ You put Night-Tea Night leaves in, didn't you? _

He takes a sip. It doesn't taste all that different from his usual teas.

`.`.`.`

Jay still has nightmares.

Serpentine, djinns, skeletons, trash compactors, the Preeminent.

Things that happened, things that didn't happen. Things that might have happened. Things that could still happen.

Near misses. Non-misses. Everything in between.

But they've been happening less and less frequently.

Each night he drinks some of the special tea Wu gave him, and relives the conversations in his mind.

_Seriously, Jay? Oh man, I get those dreams sometimes._

_Tell me about it. I mean, not so often, but sometimes. Sheesh._

_I do not dream, but what you are experiencing sounds perfectly logical. _

Nya eventually forced him to talk about it to the guys. He was surprised at the answers, but now he thinks of them often.

Not alone.

Part of a team.

And every night, he cuddles his wife and daughter and looks out the window at Ninjago.

His home.

And then he yawns wide enough to swallow a house, and goes to sleep without fearing the dreams he may or may not have.

Because he knows he's not alone.


End file.
